justinhmin@gmail.com
외할아버지,
제가 한글을 잘 못해서, 영어로 쓸께요. Besides, I know you’re the only person in our entire family who would take the time to try and understand each and every word of this letter – even if that meant spending hours looking up words in your Korean-English dictionary.
외할아버지, I graduated today. It was a really tough four years, but by the grace of God, He somehow managed to allow me to make it through. I was so excited to see you today. I imagined spotting you from afar, laughing because you had, once more, worn your olive-green polo, khaki windbreaker, and signature gray fedora. I saw you smiling, embracing me, congratulating me.
But you weren’t there today. At least not physically. Those 2-liter bottles of Coca-Cola and huge pans of pizza were bound to catch up with you one of these days. I just didn’t expect it to be today.
외할아버지, how am I supposed to feel knowing that one of the main reasons you came to the States was to see your youngest grandson graduate from college? What am I supposed to think knowing that you overexerted your body attempting to travel all the way to Ithaca to see me? Why couldn’t you just let me make it up to you, to say thank you, to say I love you?
But in spite of the questions and confusion and doubt, I don’t really know why, 외할아버지, but there’s a place deep inside of my heart that knows that God is still good. And I’m so grateful for that. Praise God that you passed away quickly and painlessly. Praise God that you had the chance to see my brother after such a long time apart. Praise God that you spent your last month relaxing with your daughter who has been away from home for so long. Praise God that I somehow ended up in Korea two summers ago and was able to spend such good quality time with you. Praise God for our memories at Lotteria, the aquarium, and the APEC Center in Busan. But most of all, I truly thank and praise our God so much for revealing Himself to you in these last years of your life.
I vividly remember growing up and seeing family members futilely attempt to talk to you about Christ; you would ignore us, scoff at the notion of an omnipotent, omniscient God, and disapprove of our many undertakings to help you see the truth. It’s clear now that He was even working in you then to slowly, but surely remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And although I’ll never be certain until the end, I have a good feeling that you’re currently enjoying an unadulterated, undefiled, and unfading intimacy with our Father and King. You’re probably thinking that the time you spent in the Word and in prayer as well as patiently enduring over the past few years was not in vain. Who else can I thank for that other than God Himself?
외할아버지, I miss you. But, I thank God that He has provided me one more thing to look forward to – that is, being able to worship our God together as grandfather and grandson forever in eternity. I’ll keep running.
사랑하는 손자,
민홍기
PS. My mom gave me the electronic dictionary you bought for my graduation gift. I promise to cherish it and use it well.
