justin h min

justinhmin@gmail.com

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Is There Life After Work?

“Inevitably, when I left my job, it devastated me. I couldn’t just rally and move on. I did not know how to value who I was versus what I did. What I did was who I was.”

“We’ll be friends forever, won’t we, Pooh?” asked Piglet.

“Even longer,” Pooh answered.

I don’t know why I’m feeling particularly nostalgic tonight, but I have to admit it’s making me a little sad. I’m thinking about my friends – how we met, who they are, the dynamics of our relationship. And I’m suddenly hit with the reality that these friendships will never be the same. They are changing this very moment. They will continue to change until the day I die.

To be honest, I’ve never had much trouble with change; on the contrary, I’ve often craved it. Moving to new places, experiencing new things, and growing with age and maturity have always excited me. But when it came to changes that dealt with my friends, there was always something that made them difficult for me to accept. I was almost always in denial about these things, and I’d desperately try to cling to something, anything really, that was once there. It never worked.

I’m not simply talking about friends we lose touch with after some time. I’m talking about our closest confidants – those whom I’m certain we’ll be with us for the rest of our lives. Things will never be the same with them either. That perfect storm of sorts that brought the two of you together, the circumstances surrounding that particular season of your friendship, can and will never be replicated. We move away; we start working; we gain significant others; we get married and have kids. Yes, we will still be friends. But it will be different.

Tonight, I have fragments of moments, bits of memories. They are beautiful, as they are fleeting.